Landon has been saying the cutest things lately. Some are cute only for the simple fact that he's little and can get away with it. Of course, facial expressions and personality behind these quotes were so much better in person. Like I've said many times, "I guess you had to be there."
Landon's Quotes
"I wasn't looking at your boobs Mom, I was looking at your face." (any man would've gotten knocked out or a dirty look for this)
"I am the man! Tell everyone you know." (gloating after cleaning his room)
"I can take care of myself Mom because I'm bigger now. I just can't do dishes, fix myself food, drive a car, pay the bills, or clean our WHOLE house. I would be so tired! (he paused after thinking about it for a second) You and Dad can't die on me or I'll be lonely and starve!" (after being asked, "What would you do without us?")
"I think I'm tired, but I just don't know yet." (five minutes later he passed out on the couch)
"Hey Mom, can I help breastfeed my new Brother? I have nipples too. See?" (needless to say, that was a long conversation)
"I don't want a girlfriend. Will you divorce Daddy so we can get married?" (us talking about future girlfriends)
"No way! I'm not changing Cocoa's diaper! That will REALLY stink! He's not MY baby, he's yours!" (discussing helping out with his Brother)
"I know the rules Mom. I promise. Chill." (going over rules for playing outside with his friends...and so the attitude begins)
"If a bad man comes into my room, I'll do my Kung-Fu Panda moves on him. That will teach him a lesson." (educating Landon on break-ins and "bad people")
"What if they have a blueberry pop tart? That's not candy. That's okay, right Mama? (teaching him about taking candy from "strangers"...this was also a very lengthy conversation)
"Bills, bills, bills. Nothing but bills." (walking up the drive after getting the mail)
"Mom, my belly hurts. It's probably gas, but I'm afraid to push it out because I may poop my pants."
"Feel my muscles Mama. They are SO big! I can fight the world with these guns!" (where he came up with that, I have no idea)
"Okay, okay, okay. I can read this by myself Mom. Let me do it or I'll throw a fit and you know you hate it when I do that." (hey, at least he's honest)
Landon's Jokes
"What did the bee say to the hive? Hi honey I'm home."
"What horse doesn't go out in the daytime? A nightmare!"
"What did the big fish say to the little fish? Outta my way small fry!"
"What part of the body has the most rhythm? The eardrum!"
"What kind of flower has 20/20 vision? The Iris!"